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First Name
|
Mark
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Last Name
|
Bailey
|
|
Date of Birth
|
|
Position
|
Striker
|
|
Has a strange tendency for urinating on kitchen floors. Dirty, silly boy.
|
|
|
First Name
|
James
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Last Name
|
Ball
|
|
Date of Birth
|
December 27, 1985
|
Position
|
Defender
|
|
With that surname you'd think he'd play a bit better wouldn't you?
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|
|
First Name
|
Dave
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Last Name
|
Benson
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|
Date of Birth
|
April 4, 1985
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Position
|
Defender
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|
Smoking 1000 ‘energy’ cigarettes per hour, and 12 pre-game pints of ‘muscle building’ beer – Mr Benson is a role model to many a young Benson-a-maniac and young children.
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|
|
First Name
|
Adam
|
Last Name
|
Fielden
|
|
Date of Birth
|
|
Position
|
Midfielder/Goalkeeper
|
|
Giggity-giggity goo… Adam ‘Hackney Halford’ Fielden is about to play some vision-tastic, telepathic football for your viewing pleasure.
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|
|
First Name
|
Craig
|
Last Name
|
Foster
|
|
Date of Birth
|
|
Position
|
Midfielder
|
|
Long Ball’s Ahoy! Skip Foz is about to make sure the ball remains in the air forevermore.
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|
|
First Name
|
Neil
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Last Name
|
Grayton
|
|
Date of Birth
|
October 20, 1982
|
Position
|
Midfielder/Striker
|
|
Though understanding, Neil Grayton has no appreciation of the offside rule. His theory stems from the fact you can potentially score more goals by ignoring it. Hmmm.
|
|
|
First Name
|
Ashley
|
Last Name
|
List
|
|
Date of Birth
|
August 16, 1983
|
Position
|
|
|
Fitting into the mould anywhere, Ashley can offer his Ronaldo skills to many a position… on the bench.
|
|
|
First Name
|
Matthew
|
Last Name
|
Morrison
|
|
Date of Birth
|
February 22, 1985
|
Position
|
Goalkeeper/Midfield
|
|
His brother may have had trials with Newcastle, Chelsea, Everton and Preston, but he's not playing for our feckin' team is he?
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|
|
First Name
|
Daniel
|
Last Name
|
Pilbrow
|
|
Date of Birth
|
|
Position
|
Defender
|
|
With his selection of fine swim footwear... he looks like a dick.
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|
|
First Name
|
Christopher
|
Last Name
|
Stock
|
|
Date of Birth
|
|
Position
|
Midfielder
|
|
Whatever you do... don't touch his pencil tin.
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